Closet Case
by JazzyCriminologist
Summary: House drags Wilson into a storage room in PPTH to get the dirt from Wilson's date last night and gets the two of them locked in, leaving the ducklings to work on a case alone and Cuddy to try to hunt her two missing department heads down. Slashygoodness
1. Never Follow a Grinning House

**Closet Case**

Closet Case  
By: JazzyCriminologist

**Rated: M, NC-17, R**, what ever you want to call it, for the swearing and suggestions in the beginning, and for when the heat turns up later on.

Summary: House drags Wilson into a storage room in PPTH to get the dirt from Wilson's date last night and gets the two of them locked in, leaving the ducklings to work on a case alone and Cuddy to try to hunt her two missing department heads down.

Characters/Parings: All characters will tip their hats, but it is very House/Wilson focused.

Author Notes: Normally I pre plan my fics out and take my time writing them. This one I'm just gonna lay it all out for you all. This is also my first one here on the boards (originally on HBMD)

Enjoy the first Chapter of Closet Case! (Later to be referred to as CC)

Oh and yeah…as we all know I don't own House. Or am I secretly David Shore?! No..I'm not. DAMN! .

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Closet Case  
Chapter 1  
Why You Should Never Follow a Grinning House.

"You're avoiding me."

Wilson sighed and looked up from his desk where he had paperwork scattered about. "So what if I am?"

House limped his way in, standing in front of Wilson's desk, lifting up a file a random and glancing at it. "I doubt it's this keeping you from me." House threw the file back onto the desk. "I bet it's because you don't want to tell me about your date last night."

"House..." Wilson started in a warning tone.

"I'm hurt Jimmy. I though we were BFFs and all that jazzy middle school girl stuff."

"Sorry to inform you House but I am not a middle school girl. You I'm not so sure about." Wilson kept at trying to work on his files, but House was good at preventing this.

"You can't be enjoying all of that."

"You mean doing my job so I don't have to stay up late to do it while you rant about how you'd just make your lackeys do it? Oh yeah, totally hate it. That's why I do it everyday."

"Minus the days I bother you." Wilson sighed and threw down the file, officially giving up. House was grinning when Wilson finally looked up at House. Wilson did not like that look.  
"Why are you looking so smug?"

House's smug grin was replaced by a false look of confusion. "You make that sound like it's a bad thing..."

Wilson sighed and rubbed at his forehead. "Because it usually is."

"Ok true, but this time isn't not. I want to show you something!" House's grin returned and Wilson let out a groan.

"Now House?" Wilson complained, but was already out of his chair.

"Yup. Follow the cripple brick road!" House said as he lifted his cane out in front of him as he walked out of Wilson's office.

"Only you would want your own road House!" Wilson called after House as he shut the door to his office. He quickly caught up with House who'd finally decided to use his cane more properly. "So where the hell are we going?"

"Don't make me turn this hallway around James!"

Wilson rolled his eyes. "Why can I never get an honest answer out of you?"

House glanced over at Wilson, "Why won't you tell me about your date?"

Touché.

A few more feet down the hallway an open door appeared along the right side. Wilson looked at it in interest because it's not like people just keep open doors in a hallway of a hospital. "Here we are." House was now leading Wilson right into that same doorway.

"House were the hell are we-" House cut him off as he used his cane to usher Wilson in.

"Just hold onto your horses, or lack there of, and get in." Wilson sighed and let himself get pushed in. He jumped a bit when House quickly followed behind him and closed the door.

"Ok, now, where the hell are we?!" House laughed and Wilson took note that House must be standing close to him because he could feel the laugh. He heard a shuffling sound then a click as House turned on the light.

Wilson took in a breath of air then belted out, "House, why the _hell _did you drag me into a supply closet?!"

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Comments are love!


	2. Always Check the Door Before it Closes

Blah blah blah…same stuff as before.

Enjoy!

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Closet Case  
Chapter 2  
Why You Always Check the Door Before You Let it Close.

"Where the hell is House?"

The trio of ducklings looked up from their spots at the table. "He should have been in the clinic two hours ago!"

Cameron was the first to offer an answer. "House hasn't been here all morning. Did he even come into work today? Did you try his cell phone?"  
Her questions were answered with a look from Cuddy that, if House were to define it, said _bitch please. _Chase took this pause to jump in with an answer of his own.

"House is here. He was early actually. Said something about getting Wilson to come out of the closet."

The other three gave him a _what the hell _look and Chase put up his hands defensively. "His words, not mine!"

Cuddy sighed. "So he must be distracting Wilson, preventing yet another doctor from doing his work."

"Maybe they're off somewhere admitting their feelings for each other that they've kept secret from each other for as long as they can remember."

Chase, Cameron, and Cuddy looked wildly at Foreman.

"It was sarcasm!"

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "I'm going to go see if Wilson's in his office."

She then turned on her heels and went out the glass door, clicking her way down the hall to Wilson's office. Quickly she gave the door a rap. "Dr. Wilson?" A pause, followed by another rap of the door. "Dr. Wilson?"  
Cuddy tried the doorknob and found the door to be unlocked. "Dr. Wilson have- Oh god damn it." Cuddy swore into the empty room.

"Where the hell have you dragged him to now, House?!"

-------------  
(Two Hours Earlier)

"House, why the _hell _did you drag me into a supply closet?!"

House gave Wilson a look as if he should already know the answer. "Better lighting. That and have you seen the stuff they keep in here?!" House said as he picked up a bottle of cleaner and read from it. "Cleans up blood, urine, semen, and other bodily fluids. How could you not want to be in a room full of this kind of stuff?!"

Wilson looked at House, trying hard not to just leap forward and take his cane from him to beat him with. "What-what- what the hell are you on?! Are you high?!" Wilson moved his hands about him in a wild manner.

House tapped his cane on the ground in though as he tilted his head to the side. "Nooot yet. But hey I'm sure we could change that," House held up yet another bottle, "You think a swig of this'd do it? You go first though. If you die in a room with me most people will think 'Well hey, we saw that coming." But if I die in a room with you-oh wait they'd say the same thing," House shrugged. "Either way, you go first."

Wilson just stared at his friend, not that Wilson was thinking of such nice words to describe the man in front of him right now. "House, I don't have time for this. I've got appointments, paperwork, and clinic duty. I'm going." With that Wilson turned around, taking hold of the doorknob in his hand and gave it a turn.

Wilson furrowed his brow and looked down at where his hand had a hold of the doorknob. He gave it another turn in the opposite direction. As realization dawned on him his eyes opened wide. "House..." Wilson called out in a drawn out manner.

"Yes dearest Jimmy?" House said in a too sweet tone.

"Do you know how to open this door?" Wilson kept his voice in a worried tone as he asked.

House pushed Wilson aside from the door and tried to open it himself. "Hmm, well what do you know...it only opens from the outside."

"WE'RE LOCKED IN HERE?!"

"Ooops, my bad."

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CommentsLOVE


	3. House Should Know Better than to Pester

Yeah...I still don't own them...tear

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Closet Case  
Chapter 1  
Why House Should Know Better than to Keep Pestering Wilson.

"Oops? All you have to say is Ooops, my bad?'"

Wilson's face held a mix of emotions—anger, bewilderment, fear, and something else House couldn't decipher. House sat quietly in his spot in the storage room. He may be an ass but he was an observant ass. He knew Wilson would freak out, try to think of a excess of things to get the door open, but House—as always—was five steps ahead. Before he had left the hospital last night, House had made sure any crazy idea Wilson came upon wouldn't work.

Wilson's first thought was to grab for the cell phone in his pocket. House kept a poker face on as Wilson gave the phone an exasperated look.

"No service?" House asked calmly.

Wilson glanced up at House with a pathetic look before looking back down to see if anything had changed. House gave the ground a few taps with his cane, "Mine neither."

As Wilson re-pocketed his phone he glanced around the room. "Is there…anything we could use to open the door? A…a… a crowbar, maybe a screwdriver?" Wilson asked as he started a futile search, lifting boxes and moving bundles of medical supplies as he tried to move about the small room.

"We're in a hospital, not an auto shop, Wilson."

Amusement danced in House's eyes as he watched Wilson shuffled around him in the room.

"House," Wilson turned on his heals and faced his friend, "there's got to be a way out of here."

"All we can do is wait for someone in need of," House lifted up a box near him, "a hypodermic needle." Wilson let out a defeated sound, leaning against the door and sliding to the floor as House tossed the box back onto a shelf. "And while we're waiting…you can tell me why your date went so bad."

Wilson's hands, that had been holding his head a moment before, fell limp onto the ground next to him. "You just don't give up, do you?"

House gave a playful smile, "Nope."

Wilson rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in the air, "Just drop it House."

"And why would I do that when I want to know the answer? I mean come on, you know how I am with anomalies."

"Drop it House."

"Awww, come on Jimmy."

"Shut up House."

"It can't be that bad. She say no to little Jimmy?"

"House just stop it."

"Or did she turn out to not be a she?"

"…"

"Or did you yell out the wrong name when you—"

"YOU! I was miserable though the whole damn date because I kept thinking how I'd rather it be you with me!"

After his outburst, Wilson slammed his head into his hands.

"Wow…" House blinked while looking strait forward at the door, only a few inches above Wilson's head,

"I wasn't expecting that."

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Let me know what you think!


	4. Why Wilson’s in Love with His Friend

Yeah…still don't own them. But I'm working on it. –evil grin-

--------HW--------  
Closet Case  
Chapter 4  
Why Wilson's in love with His Sarcastic Ass of a Friend.

Wilson stared with his head in his hands, not daring to look up as House continued to stare blankly at the door.

"So your date sucked because you kept thinking how you'd rather it be me with you than your date with you." There was a pause as House thought this over. "Now when you say you'd rather me be there, do you mean to just be there as the bundle of fun ass of a friend, or as your date?"

Wilson flinched at the question into his hands. He was really hoping to just drop the subject, but he knew House would never do that—not now. Wilson's reply came a few seconds later. It was only one word that came out with a low forfeiting tone.

"Date."

An awkward silence grew between the two until House broke it.

"Well this is suddenly ironic."

Wilson looked up at House in confusion.

"Well we are in a closet." House said with a sly grin.

Wilson's eyes widened before he pressed a palm to his forehead.

"You're an ass House."

"But that's a major characteristic of mine—so you must like the fact I'm an ass."

"Just shut the hell up House."

"Hey you were the one who wanted me out on your date," House retorted defensively.

Wilson sighed, his head back in his hands while House let the silence grow, picking through his mind to find the best plan of attack. It took him a few minutes before he was satisfied enough in his head to start his attack on (the very emotional) Fort Wilson.

"How long?"

Wilson lifted his head slowly. "Midway though my second wife."

"So why was there a third Ex. Mrs. Wilson?"

"Denial."

"You know I've been to Egypt. After a few years _da Nile_ isn't all that fun."

Wilson gave House a look.

"What? You're the one who fell for your sarcastic ass of a friend."

Wilson sighed slowly and House watched as his shoulders rose and fell. Time for the second attack. "Well if I annoy you so much, why do you like me?"

Wilson was quiet for a while as he planned out his answer, but House wasn't about to sit and wait.

"I know I'm dead sexy but—" but House stopped as he saw a smile start to form on Wilson's lips. Now it was House's turn to smile slyly.

"You think I'm hot."

Wilson's suddenly red face told House he was right, but he would much rather make his friend suffer and say it himself.

"I…well…I mean you are—but that's not the only reason!"

House grinned as he watched Wilson stumble over his words.

"It's not?"

"No, of course not. Yeah, you're an ass but," Wilson sighed as he calmed down from House's blush worthy comments, "I feel good around you. Everyone likes to see me as some damn perfect doctor that can't do anything wrong. But you—you know I'm just as weak and corrupted as the next person, maybe not at your level but still. And you make me actually have fun. It may cost me an extra five dollars a day, and half my own lunch—oh and the more that occasional rant from Cuddy—but," Wilson looked up at House, making eye contact for the first time since they had entered the small room, "It's worth it. You're worth it."

Wilson held House's eyes with his own, hoping House's dark pupils would turn towards him. But House's eyes stayed firmly far away from looking at Wilson's.

Wilson felt a wrenching feeling of rejection in his chest. He had just ruined the best thing he ever had—his screwed up friendship with House.

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Oh Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy…silly doctor. Hee I hope to update soon! Don't worry the next chapter gets better!


	5. House's Slip of the Tongue

You think if I ask Santa I could get the rights to House for Christmas? No? Well what about a hot House-Wilson kiss? I mean…Santa could be a slasher…

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Closet Case  
Chapter 5

When House Tries to Recover A Slip of the Tongue

Wilson was fighting a losing battle with his eyes as they began to blur at the welling of his tears. A lump in his throat soon joined his symptoms as the sinking feeling in his chest grew the longer House was silent. It had felt like hours since his friend has spoken, though in real time it was only about five minutes.

"House…" Wilson tried to provoke his friend to speak.

"You're an idiot," House said bluntly.

Wilson's fight with his tears was lost as a single drop rolled along his cheek.

"It doesn't matter that I like you too, you just shouldn't like an ass like me. I make you miserable."

"House, you don't make me mis—" Wilson could have sworn there was an audible click as his mind finally caught up to speed with all House had said. His jaw fell out from under him as he stopped mid sentence. "You," Wilson blinked and his eyes glanced down in an angle as if double checking his short term memory. "You…you just said. You just said… you like me…_too_ ?!" Wilson's voice had given a slight crack as the work 'like' had come out.

House sighed. "You're missing the point. I just said you shouldn't like be be—"

"You like me?!" Wilson was up on his feet, interrupting House mid word. "When?!...Why?!.. How long?! Why didn't you tell me?!"

House rolled his eyes. "What part of 'I'm an ass' is confusing you?" House said in reference to Wilson's last question.

But despite House's focus on calling himself, well to be blunt, crap, Wilson was grinning like an idiot at House. House only rolled his eyes at his grinning friend, giving a good thought to whapping him in the head with his cane.

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Cuddy walked back into Diagnostics an hour later after she had gone on her original hunt for her missing department heads. She was on a war path now and the minute she found House his ass was hers to throw into the clinic.

Forman didn't even flinch, or look up from his medical journal, as she walked in. Cameron gave a nervous look as Chase promptly looked anywhere but at Cuddy.

"No luck?" Cameron asked with a tone that was…well, very caring Cameron like. You know the one, the kind that made House want to smack her with his cane. And this wasn't the tone to take with Cuddy right now. Her glare centered down on Cameron. "You think I would be here if I had?! I would be down in my office doing my own damn work! You three haven't heard anything from House or Wilson, have you?"

"No…" Cameron looked down to the table.

"Nope." Forman said with no emotion whatsoever without looking up.

"Ah, no." Chase said, now looking out the window.

Cuddy rolled her eyes as she walked out and clicked down the hall, crossing the supply closet in the hall. She stopped just as she passed the door. _Wait._ She stood and thought. _Was Chase smiling? _Cuddy's eyes went wide. He must know something about where the two had gone. But she had the feeling he was under penalty of House if he said anything. And Chase wasn't one to go against what House told him, at least not often.

Cuddy set off again with a quick pace to her office to plan how to get some information from Chase. If she had stayed a moment longer she may have heard a somewhat muffled "You like me?!" come out of the supply room.

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"Would you stop that damn grinning already?!"

Wilson dropped his grin down, but only to a smug smirk that could have possibly beaten out one of House's. House sighed. It was too late, he'd let it slip. _I bet Freud would be proud of me and my slip_, House mumbled to himself angrily.

"Wilson, listen, just leave it." House said in a very harsh tone but quietly.

Wilson's eyes widened. "Oh-ho-ho! I'm not letting you get away with that! You were the one who pressed me for why my date sucked! Now you're getting what your damn crippled ass deserves."

"You in it?" House couldn't stop from making that remark, it was just too easy. And it did just what House wanted it to. Wilson was bright red and suddenly very quiet. This caused House to start laughing. "You've thought about that before. You perv!" House said as he tried to cover himself up and hold his cane up as protection.

Wilson shifted from one foot to the other, not admitting, not denying. "Wait! Hey you like me too. How do I know you haven't been undressing me with your eyes during lunch!"

House was fast to retort, "And who says you weren't doing the same?" but Wilson had caught the light pink filling in House's cheeks. Wilson grinned.

"You're blushing."

House's eyes widened. "Am not."

Wilson stepped forward. "Are too!"

House put on a stern look. "Am not."

Wilson took another step, bringing the two only inches from each other, Wilson bent over a little to be face to face with the sitting House. "Are. Too."

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Hee…I'm evil. Live with it.


	6. Why You Should Always Have a Mint

Wow…I've been in such a writing/typing mood lately. Seems like the smutty summer air is getting to me! Oh well, I'm sure that is making all of you very happy.

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Closet Case  
Chapter 6

Why You Should Always Have a Mint.

Wilson was so close to House he could feel his own breath pressing back against him as he breathed slowly. But Wilson's breath was quickly taken from him as House looked strait into Wilson's eyes, blue shimmering with such unseen emotion that it took Wilson a moment to remember to breath. He couldn't help but let his jaw fall once again, but only just slightly.

"Wilson." House then sighed slightly, his hands tight on his cane below him.

"Yes?" Wilson said in a breath of a word, too afraid to move closer or farther. His chest was bursting inside of itself. He swore he could feel House's lips on his own already.

"You really ought to think about breath mints."

Wilson's face froze. House was starting to grin his ass off. And as Wilson started to glare at him House began to laugh loudly.

"You really thought you'd get something there, didn't you?!" House was leaning back slightly on his seat, hitting his cane into the grown.

"You suck House." Wilson said in a slightly pissed of mood but with a laugh behind it.

"What, you really think I'm that much of a romantic?" House leaned forward to look at Wilson who was now back to leaning against the door.

"Well no…but.. I mean you did say you like me too."

House rolled his eyes. "And again I told you you shouldn't."

"Well too damn bad. If you can be a stubborn ass then so can I." Wilson stood proud up off the wall with his hands on his hips. This caused House to laugh again.

"That pose right there so makes you the girl."

"What?!" Wilson's arms immediately dropped down to his sides. "I am not the girl!"

"Oh, and I am? Right because you know the girl stereotype is a drug addicted ass who likes to crush any bit of hope anyone has around her. And if I'm the girl that would make you the guy. And you know all guys are stereotyped as the loving, caring, do-anything-for-anyone, cooking, blow drying, nail painting type."

Wilson was grinning. "Good, I see it my way. And… thank you."

House lifted and eyebrow. "Thank you?"

Wilson smiled with a pink tint in his cheeks. "Well I mean you did call me loving and carring…"

House rolled his eyes. "You are such a girl."

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"You wanted to see me?"

Chase had his head partly in the doorway to Cuddy's office. The young doctor had been paged by Cuddy only moments after she had left Diagnostics.

"Dr. Chase! Yes, please, sit down." Cuddy waved an arm to the chairs before her desk. Chase walked in with a bit of hesitation and sat down.

"What can I do for you Dr. Cuddy?"

"Well as you know Dr. House and Wilson are missing. I know I've already asked but would you happen to know anything, anything at all, about where they might have gone to?" Cuddy leaned forward in her chair over her desk. Chase coughed slightly as he suddenly got a better view of Cuddy's, as House had called them, 'fun bags'.

"Er, no I don't. I'm sorry. I'm just as in the dark as everyone else." Chase fought to keep the grin off his face. _Nice choice of words there Wombat._ Chase's internal laughter stopped. Since when did he have an internal _House_?! Chase winced.

"Everything all right " Cuddy asked at sight of the wincing doctor.

"Oh, yeah, everything's fine. Just got a slight headache."

"Dr. Chase." Cuddy's tone when serious, and slightly scary, "if you know what's going on you have to tell me. Even if you're under treat of House doing anything to you."

"Anything?

"Anything."

"Coming to work in a skirt for a week kind of anything?" Chase asked.

"Yes, even coming to work in a—what?!" Cuddy gave Chase a maddening look. Leave it to House to threaten someone with a skirt.

"Well I mean he didn't threaten me with that, but just an example." Chase kept his eyes down. Maybe if he played it off as a joke Cuddy would think so. No need for more embarrassment. But Chase was sure he was going to kill House if this didn't' work out.

"I…uh… well then I guess that's all. But if you think of anything about the where about of those two please don't hesitate to let me know."

"Yeah, sure thing." Chase nodded as he stood up from the chair and nodded a goodbye, high tailing it out of the office.

With a quick glance at his watch Chase boarded an elevator. "You've got less than an hour House. I'm not dodging Cuddy any longer than I have to."

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Wilson gave a sigh as he looked around the supply closet.

"Now what are you huffing about?" House asked as he twirled his cane out in front of him.

"We're still stuck in here." Wilson gave House a look like he was an idiot for forgetting that.

House stopped his spinning and frowned at Wilson. "Are you that against being in a supply closet with me Wilson?"

Wilson closed his eyes then rubbed at his brow with a hand. "No, I didn't say that. But you know I would like to go home some time in the near future."

"But Jimmy you're missing the joys of this closet!"

Wilson gave House a look once again that clearly read that he thought House was an idiot.

"And those joys would be?" Wilson moved his hands about to enforce his attempt to drawl the answer out.

"Well one we aren't working." House wagged a finger at his friend who rolled his eyes.

"You never work House."

House ignored Wilson and moved on. "Two we're surrounded by supper cool bottles and boxes of medical who knows what. Wanna blow up the hospital with me?" House fluttered his eyes in such a feminine way it scared Wilson.

"No."

"Fine fine, party pooper." House pouted as he stood up from his spot. "Guess that only leaves one thing to pass the time while where here. Just as well, it is the best part of being suck in a closet with you."

Wilson furrowed his brow, looking at House as he stood before him. "And that would be?"

House smiled widely before he answered.

"This."

He quickly closed the space between himself and Wilson with his lips crashing into the other doctor's. And it wasn't soon after that the rest of House crashed right along against Wilson against the door.

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And you all owe me for that end there. I about didn't do it. I was going to leave you hanging again but desided to be nice.

And sadly there's a good chance this next chapter may be the last. But I'm darn sure there'll be a sequel. I just don't know what about or what to call it. laughs Feel free to give advice! I'd like to know what you'd guys like more of! Besides smut that is. laughs We all want more of that, I know.


	7. House will Always be the Evil Mastermind

So this is the end of Closet Case. Took me long enough, huh? Heh, sorry about that. I just took forever to get into the right mindset. I hope it was worth the wait? Maybe? T.T Just don't shoot me.

Anyway, same as always, I do not own House M.D. or it's characters. T.T

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Closet Case  
Chapter 7

Why House will Always be the Evil Mastermind.

Wilson was taken completely off guard. His mind was reeling, tying to figure out what exactly was happening and—oh wow did House know how to kiss. He was now sure that House in real life is at least ten times better than the House residing in Wilson's mind. But all thought processes were shut down as House's hips made contact with Wilson's. With a gasp, Wilson opened his mouth in a mix of surprise and bliss. House quickly took advantage and drove his tongue into Wilson's mouth. The two fell back against the door with a thud, Wilson letting out a sound as he hit the door.

The door was what finally woke Wilson up enough to get him moving. He swiftly began to kiss House back, trying to fight him for dominance. Wilson felt a shiver run down him as he felt House grin through the kiss at Wilson's sudden aggression. But the grin was soon transferred to Wilson as groped House's ass. But the surprise was gone just as soon as it came to House, and he was attacking back, latching onto Wilson's hips and pulling him against himself. Wilson gasped at this, and House once again used it to his advantage, breaking the kiss and moving his lips down to where Wilson's neck met his shoulders. House could feel Wilson shudder under him as he sucked at the junction, changing pressure and speed constantly, until a very weak-kneed Wilson let out a moan. House felt his eyes glaze over at the sound of the moan, unable to stop his hips from thrusting forward against Wilson.

As much as Wilson loved House's work on his soon-to-be-hicky, he wanted his lips back. He lifted a hand, the other now at the center of House's backside, and pulled House away from his neck and shoulder to his lips. As their tongues once again greeted each other and fought for dominance, Wilson let his hand slide back and into House's hair. House's own hands busied themselves at Wilson's waist, trying to pull up the dress shirt. It took more effort than it should have, but finally House pulled the shirt out, hands immediately pressing to the warm skin of Wilson. He took his time as he trailed his hands upward, trying to take in all he could about how Wilson's skin felt.

Wilson's head hit the door with a thud as he felt House under his shirt. He was happily surprised by the gentleness of the touch House had, an almost soothing one. As House reached farther up he ghosted over a nipple. Wilson moaned far too loudly for such a simple touch, breaking the kiss as he trusted himself against House. House grinned. "I'm going to have to remember that."

Wilson looked at House, still grinning, and couldn't help the moan he let out again. House had looked _happy_. Not smug, ok well a little smug, not superior, but just _happy_. Wilson couldn't help but be turned on by the idea that it was him that put that look on House. He made House happy.

"Everything ok Wilson?" House asked. Wilson furrowed his eyebrows in confusion until he realized that during his epiphany he'd frozen in place. He couldn't help but return a grin to House as he pulled him closer.

"Everything is perfect."

Abruptly, Wilson begins to tumble back, pulling House down with him. With a thud they hit the floor of the hallway, the wind partly knocked out of Wilson.

"You could have warned us," House said, but with little bite.

"That would defeat the purpose of catching you by surprise," and amused Chase said standing above them. "Oh. And Cuddy's been looking for you, both of you actually."

"Both of us?" Wilson rasped out, still out of breath, and currently being used as a House pillow.

"Yep. It's not so bad when just House disappears. But when you're both gone… Well usually it's not a good sign," Chase said matter-of-factly.

Wilson let out a groan as she scrubs as his face with his left hand, the right, still rather awkwardly placed at the center of House's lower back, clenching slightly. Chase gives off a cough that sounds suspiciously like a laugh. "So. How long have you two been in the closet?" Chase let out another suspicious cough, this time with a grin.

House gives a grin of his own towards Wilson, his eyes dark and glistening with something that made Wilson's stomach do flips and his head go _House, don't' you dare say something I'll regret! _As if reading his mind, House's grin grew more wicked.

"Well when I was in college," House laughs, "crazy stories. And Jimmy here, with his extensive knowledge of the Village People…"

"_House_," Wilson glares at him as he forces out the name in a warning tone.

Chase shifts awkwardly on his feet, red faced and looking anywhere but at the two-doctor-pile on the floor in front of him. "I was more referring to you being physically _**in**_ the closet. Most of the hospital has already figured out the other, or at least assumes it."

Wilson let out a louder groan, covering his eyes with his hands for a moment before letting his hand fall to the side, eyes still shut.

"I don't think that was a very _appropriate_ sound James," House grinned as he growled, grinding himself into Wilson at the hip. Wilson's eyes fly open as the breath in his throat is abruptly stopped. He has to force himself to swallow to regain control of himself.

"House…" Wilson let out slowly, trying to use the name to cover the moan that wanted out. "Get off."

House's grin tones down to something that once again has Wilson's stomach pulling flips. "You want me to get off? I think that may scare poor Chase and his virgin eyes, but because _you_ asked…" Chase and Wilson now had matching faces of dark red.

"House, I mean it, get off," Wilson put more force behind his words this time, pushing the weight of House upwards slightly. House, who's eyes have yet to leave Wilson's face, gives a pout as he slowly gets up. Wilson us soon to follow, trying to dust himself off.

"You're no fun," House continues to pout. But Wilson just ignores him with a sigh, turning to Chase so he can apologize. Before he can start, House cuts in with, "Missed a spot!"

Wilson will of course deny this later, but the look on Chase's face—as House lewdly placed his hand between Wilson's thighs and swept away some lingering dust—is just priceless. He almost feels bad for the poor duckling as he takes a staggered step back. "Uh. So. I'm going to go now. Got. Got doctor stuff to do. Yeah." Wilson couldn't stop his laugh as Chase sped away down the hall.

"I think we just reaffirmed Chase's sexuality for him," Wilson said with another laugh, turning to House.

"Yep. Because he was totally turned on by us."

"What?! No. Nonononono." House just grinned as he watched Wilson's face contort with amusement and disgust. 

"Yes. _He_ was. But _we_ should continue our discussion on Chase's sexuality as we sneak out. Cuddy will maul us once Chase runs to tell mommy he saw daddy kissing uncle." Wilson winced, but began to walk towards the elevator.

"Was the incest metaphor really necessary?"

House gave Wilson a look of shock as he fell into step next to him. "Of course!"

Wilson just shook his head as the two walked into the elevator. "Oh come on Wilson, I bet you love to think about your dad in the shower." Wilson went wide-eyed and red with embarrassment.

"He's kidding," Wilson tells the poor nurse stuck in the elevator with the two. She gives a shaky nod, and then blots out as soon as the elevator doors reopen.

Wilson smacks House in the arm as they exit the elevator. "Why do you always feel the need to say things like that at times like that?"

House raised an eyebrow at Wilson. "Why do you always feel the need to act like such a girl?"

Wilson narrowed his eyes at House, but there was no fire behind it. As the two walk outside, Wilson stops. "How did Chase know to open the closet?" Wilson turned to House, narrowing his eyes again. House put on an innocent look.

"I paged him."

"YOU PAGED HIM?! How?!"

House grinned. "I have my ways? Besides that's not important. What's important is I missed lunch. So you need to come over to my place and buy me one hell of a good dinner."

Wilson sighed, but smiled, giving in to House was something he was more than happy to do at the moment. "Where are you parked?" House turned at Wilson's question with another innocent look.

"Nowhere."

"How did you get to work?"

"Magic?"

Wilson raised an eyebrow at House before rolling his eyes and walking to his car. House jumped into the passenger seat. But Wilson didn't start the car. House waved his hand in front of Wilson's face. "Heeellooo. Earth to Wilson?"

Wilson turned to House and tilted his head just slightly. "You planned this whole thing, didn't you? Us being suck in a closet, forcing me to admit something so you could, then making out."

"Yep,"

Wilson was quiet for a moment. Then he smiled, leaning closer to House. "Nice plan."

"I am an evil mastermind." House grinned as he leaned towards Wilson in return. "Just wait until what you see what I've got planned for tonight."

End

--------HW--------

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